“Lynz, I am not in the slightest bit interested in her. Yes she is pretty but that does not mean that I am after her. I just work with her and anyway, she has 2 kids. You have nothing to be jealous of!”
Ok Ladies, how many of you have heard this kind of line spun out on autopilot from your man’s mouth? All of you? I thought so. Now if a bloke were reading this he would take it in one of two ways.
1. Husband is genuinely not interested in bonking his colleague and therefore Mrs can be proud of him.
2. Yep Husband wants the colleague he just does not want his wife to know that and the kids excuse is genius!
Now the women’s turn
1. He is genuinely not interested in his colleague, what a lucky woman his wife is
Women in Camp Innocence, Good luck in life. I hear ignorance truly is bliss.
2. Women’s intuition is usually right about these things but hopefully the wife is just paranoid, best to back off a bit in case it is nothing more than flirtation.
Women in the Fingers Crossed Camp are you sickeningly sensible or just woeful wimps? I’ll let you decide.
3. My husband did not insult the other woman in any way therefore he is definitely interested in her. How dare he say she is pretty! That compliment from him is strictly for his wife and children only. He just works with eh? Well that means he spends 40 hours a week with her and only 15 if I’m lucky, with me. As for the she has 2 kids excuse – does that make her undesirable? I have 2 kids does that mean nobody fancies me? And the crème’ de la crème’ “You have nothing to be jealous of” This is not jealousy as that would imply that she has something which I want. No, this is not jealousy. This is Possessiveness! You are mine. You reside within our family bubble and I, as protector of the bubble, must annihilate all those whom attempt bubble prickery.
Welcome to Camp Possessed.
Is there any chance of convincing you ladies that I am in the Fingers Crossed Camp? Thought not, well in that case I shall say it loud and proud(ish)….I am part of the Possessed Posse!
If you are a regular reader of my column then this kind of honesty will come as no surprise. I don’t write babble, which creates the illusion that I am the person that I aspire to be. I tell truths which I hope make me illustrate moments of thoughtfulness, passion and humour but I am aware that I can also divulge my foolish, naive sometimes psychotic or offensive side but never done spitefully or with hidden agenda.
My motto in life is simply ‘Do unto others as you would be done by’ and I try to live true to this. However, I struggle to believe that others indulge in this Utopian outlook and assume the worst. I have learned that truth from within is admirable but truth from someone else can truly and deeply hurt. Perhaps this is why people tend to delude me with little white lies as they have learned that as proud as I am of my own honesty, this quality in others can floor me.
Many women have laughed at me for not only feeling this way but for admitting it too. They think me both irrational and a bit scary. They believe that I should put more trust in my husband as he has yet to disappoint me, but then these are the trusting women whose husbands, whilst they’re drunk, inform me of my accounts held in their spank banks. It proves my point when I say that I do not trust anyone but I have hope. I hope that my husband is always faithful. I hope that I stay faithful too. I hope that our bubble stays intact and that all its contents remain happy and content. I don’t believe in perfect people, in perfect marriages or perfect honesty. But I do believe in hope.